Life is a succession of moments

Picture this: you're at a table, on the terrace of a bar, with a good friend. You're sipping on your drink, you're laughing, you're having a good time. Next thing you know, it's late, and you both have work the next day. You call it a night.

This moment is gone and will never come back.

(…)

I'm sorry, is this too depressing? I mean, you know that already. You're like, "Yeah, okay, time flies regardless of you being okay with it; what else is new?" So, why am I telling you this?

It's that, you see, I don't think you realise just how beautiful this is.

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The other day, I came to this realisation while having drinks with one of my friends. This guy is a real character. The kind of person you only meet once in your life. The thing about him is that he has this very unique outlook on the world. And when we were hanging out, he did something quite incredible. I don't know how he did it - I wish I had recorded it - but he explained the concept of Time to me.

Now, this doesn't sound like much. Because technically, we all know what Time is. But try to explain what it is. (...) I'm waiting. Time is not something simple that you can point to and physically comprehend. Its meaning is so wrapped up in the definition of life itself that it's almost impossible to articulate it on its own.

Anyways, my friend did it. And he didn't explain it in a scientific or dictionary-like way. No, he described it as if I was an alien with no previous sense of what earthly Time was; and I understood it as if I had just discovered it.

I know what you're thinking. And the answer is yes, we were kind of drunk. But it doesn't change the truthfulness or importance of this experience.

I'm probably not making a lot of sense to you right now. So, I’m gonna try and recreate my friend's explanation - even though it probably won't hit you the same way it hit me because you don't have the context or the location (and you probably aren't wasted either.) I will try, though. Please, keep your mind open and bear with me.

Our conversation amounted to something like this:

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Him: We can all make a massive impact in the world through the smallest actions. Because we all live at the same exact moment.

Me: What do you mean?

Him: Like, I could push this kid in the water. Imagine the impact that it would have. I could pick up this bird. I could take a train and go to Scotland right now!

Me: I don't think you could actually pick up this bird. It's huge.

Him: Shut up.

Me: Ok, whatever.

(…)

Him: I love watching and noticing the wheels of the world turning in the smallest things, because only then do you realise that this moment is important and will never come back. Maybe no one here will remember this moment, but I can look at it and experience its volatility. In a minute, it will be gone. When I don't feel like my life is special, I like to observe people around me and see how life is still special for them. It's like my own personal film screening.

Me: ⊙▂⊙

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There are two essential insights that I would like to discuss with you here. But first, another moment of appreciation for how freakin special my friend is.

(…)

Thank you.

Okay, so.

First, this moment is interactive.

Way too often, I forget that the future doesn't exist yet. I constantly think about what I'm going to do in an hour, in a day, in a month, in a year, or even in two years (is something wrong with me?). I set myself in the direction I want my life to take, and I forget that the only thing that's ever gonna be real is the present. It sounds cheesy, but it's one of the most significant truths you're ever gonna come across.

If you want to know who I am, you must understand how deeply rooted these control issues are in my brain. During most of my teenage years, I've been scared shitless to lose control and mess up my life. I know that what I do now has great repercussions on what I will be and where I will be in the future. So I've taken up the bad habit of seeing my life from a one-dimensional perspective. I'm either getting better or worse, like if there was only one right way to use my time and many useless, stupid ways.

My friend made me realise that life is not one-dimensional. In fact, there are infinite possibilities for this moment right now, and all of these potentials make life incredibly beautiful.

This moment is interactive. You can forge new paths by talking to a stranger and learning from them. You can get newfound inspiration by going to see an exhibit right now. You can text your friend and have a meaningful conversation with them which might change your whole fucking life.

You can interact with the present, bump against it, alter it, and learn from it.

Second, we all live at the same exact moment.

Another really powerful layer to what my friend was saying is the following. After realising that the interactiveness of this moment is beautiful, what's even more beautiful is that you don't even have to do anything with it.

You don't have to talk to that stranger, see that exhibit, or text this friend. This moment is precious because we all exist in it simultaneously and unknowingly.

My friend said this beautiful phrase. "When I don't feel like my life is special, I like to look at other people's lives and see how it's special for them. It's like my own personal film screening".

In 2012, John Koenig coined the word sonder. He described sonder as "the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own — populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness — an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk. (via Koenig’s Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows)

Understanding how far away one is from random passersby can be lonely. Yet by observing people’s stories unfold, oblivious and contained from one another, you allow yourself to embrace the magic of a given moment. By taking in this very moment, while everyone is focused on living through it, you become aware of how cinematic now is.

The moment becomes your personal film screening because you’re the only one to witness it exactly as you do.

My friend went on to say, “Look at this kid right there, for example, he's walking towards the fountain to play in the water. He's probably gonna soak his clothes and get his mom pissed. Or look at this woman with her bright pink hair! I wanna know the story behind that hair colour - what prompted her to make such a bold statement? Look at this guy behind us, tattooed from head to toe. He's drawing something on his Ipad. Do you think he could be a tattoo artist?

All of this looks trivial, but when I understood that these scenes were all happening simultaneously and that they all mattered, I couldn't help but feel like this moment was indeed very special.